Friday Fun: Hilarious Subway Announcements

How would you react if you heard these announcements on the platform? Photo by Susan Sermoneta.

The City Room blog from The New York Times has a hilarious post on fantasy subway announcements, read by Bernie Wagenblast, the original transportation communicator whose voice you’ve probably heard on NYC Transit, NJ Transit and Virginia Department of Transportation. City Room invited their readers to suggest announcements they would like to hear to help beat the deadening monotony of subway commuting. There were nearly 200 responses and the blog posted the top 11, recorded by Wagenblast himself. We transcribed a few of the sound bites that had us giggling. Read the original story on the City Room.

A Bit Shy:

Attention, passengers! I can’t help but notice that there are two beguiling people on this train, who I think would make quite an attractive couple, but both seem to be a bit shy. Won’t someone introduce them?

Wake Up:

Wake up, everybody! It’s time for volleyball.

Cheap headphones:

Ladies and gentlemen, cheap headphones are no excuse for inflicting your bad musical taste on fellow passengers.

It Is Not Recommended:

As reason may suggest, it is not recommended to enter an empty subway car during rush hour.

Watch the gap:

Watch the gap, and by the way, you look marvelous, simply marvelous.

Traveling Wizard:

Mr. Potter, your train awaits you at Platform 9 and ¾.

Wouldn’t it be really funny to hear these while waiting for the train? Do you have any suggestions for fantasy subway announcements? Share with us in the comments below.

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